How To Talk To Someone With Breast Cancer

When talking with someone who has cancer, the most important thing is to just listen. Try to hear and understand how they feel. Don’t make light, judge, or try to change the way the person feels or acts. Try to put your own feelings and fears aside. Let them know that you’re open to talking whenever they feel like it.

1. Be available to listen. Let your friend know that you’re available to come over when needed. …
2. Let her know if you don’t mind taking a call from her in the middle of the night. …
3. Just be yourself. …
4. Let her know you care. …
5. Phone her, but be respectful of her needs. …
6. Visit, but phone first to check it’s okay.

Full Answer

Should you talk to a friend about breast cancer?

Some people may find certain words comforting, while others may be offended. Your friend may want your advice if you’ve gone through breast cancer yourself, such as a recommendation for a doctor or a certain treatment plan. But they may not.

How can I get support for someone with breast cancer?

1. Practical support 2. Emotional support 3. Support for you Our information for partners also has tips on talking to, listening to and supporting someone with breast cancer. 1. Practical support Many people want to carry on doing as much as possible during their treatment.

How do I talk to someone with cancer?

Every relationship is different, so there are no set requirements for how to talk to someone with cancer. But, there are steps you can take to allow conversations to go smoothly while showing your love and support. First, Check in With Yourself

How do you feel when someone has breast cancer?

Most people are shocked to hear they have breast cancer and experience many different emotions including anger, fear, sadness and depression. Feelings can change from day to day and even hour to hour. It’s often difficult to know what to say and how best to support someone.

What do you say when someone has breast cancer?

What to Say to a Cancer Patient”We’ll get through this together. … “I am praying for you.””Go to MD Anderson. … “I am here for you.” Then follow through and really be there.Don’t ask what you can do to help or say, “Let me know if you need anything.” Many people will never ask for help even though they need it.More items…•

How do you talk to a woman with breast cancer?

Do not take anything personally if they are not themselves. Allow them to focus on their healing process and the steps they need to take for their health and well-being. Just listen. It’s natural to want to jump in and try to fix things when someone we care about is going through a hard time.

What should you not say to a woman with breast cancer?

10 things never to say to someone with breast cancerDo not burst into tears. … Do not avoid talking about the subject. … Do not invade. … Do not send YOUR thoughts by post. … Do not offer prayers. … Do not say ‘Let me know what I can do’ … Do not stop sending out invites. … Do not try to kid us how well we look.More items…•

What do you say to someone who has survived breast cancer?

Instead say, “I’m really sorry,” or “I hope it will be okay.” And don’t refer to his or her cancer as “the good cancer.” These statements downplay what he or she is going through. Leave the door to communication open so they can talk about fears and concerns.

What should you not say to someone with cancer?

What not to say to someone who has cancer“Everything is going to be OK.”“I had a friend who died of cancer.””I know exactly how you feel.”“You’re lucky it’s XYZ cancer instead of ABC cancer.”“You look great! … “Don’t compare your breast augmentation, reduction, or lift to their mastectomy.”More items…•

How do you cheer up someone with cancer?

What you can do: VisitsAlways call before you visit. … Schedule a visit that allows you to give physical and emotional support for the caregiver, too. … Make short, regular visits rather than long, infrequent ones. … Begin and end the visit with a touch, a hug, or a handshake.Be understanding if you are asked .More items…•

How do you talk to a cancer patient?

Here are some tips to help you show your support:Take your cues from the person with cancer. … Show support without words. … Choose your words carefully. … Practice active listening. … Use caution when asking questions. … Make sure it is okay to give advice. … Be honest about your feelings but do not overburden.More items…

What do you say to a woman that has cancer?

If you’re struggling to find the right words, here are 12 kind things to say to someone with cancer:“I’m here for you.” … “You are in my thoughts and prayers.” … “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” … “Let me help you with…” … Tell a Joke. … “How are you doing?” … “Any time you need to talk, I’ll listen.”More items…•

What to do for someone who just found out they have cancer?

10 Tips for Supporting a Friend with CancerAsk before you visit. … Set up a phone team. … Offer to help with daily tasks. … Listen. … Take your cues from your friend. … Remember that everyone’s illness is different. … Reconsider gifts of food. … Give thoughtful gifts.More items…•

What do cancer patients want to hear?

Instead of hearing “What can I do?” cancer patients want to hear that you already have a specific task in mind. Many cancer patients will decline needing help when they are asked the broad question “What can I help with?” Choose something specific and get started on it.

What are the emotional stages of cancer?

The Five Stages of Dealing with a Cancer DiagnosisState 1: Denial. … Stage 2: Anger. … Stage 3: Bargaining. … Stage 4: Sadness and depression. … Stage 5: Acceptance.

What is the best thing to say to someone who has cancer?

Helpful Things to Say to a Person with Cancer “I don’t know exactly what to say, but please know how much I care.” “What can I do for you?” “I’m always here if you ever want to talk.” “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

What do you say to someone diagnosed with cancer?

Here are some ideas:”I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care”.”I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this”.”How are you doing?””If you would like to talk about it, I’m here”.”Please let me know how I can help”.”I’ll keep you in my thoughts”.

What do you say to a cancer patient who is encouraged?

If you’re struggling to find the right words, here are 12 kind things to say to someone with cancer:“I’m here for you.” … “You are in my thoughts and prayers.” … “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” … “Let me help you with…” … Tell a Joke. … “How are you doing?” … “Any time you need to talk, I’ll listen.”More items…•

What to say to a friend who has had a mastectomy?

There really is no perfect thing to say, except, maybe, “I love you, I’m here for you and I’m bringing you chocolate right now.” The important thing is that you’re willing to listen, to learn, to help, and to not be, well, a complete boob about the whole thing.

What to say to someone who has found a lump?

I care for you and I’m here for you.If you feel like talking I’m here to listen.Many people in a situation like yours would have that reaction.It seems reasonable to me to be feeling sad.I can hear it has been really hard for you to share, thank you for sharing.You’ve been going through a really tough time.More items…

How long do you have to take pain meds for breast cancer?

Many people with breast cancer need to take meds for 5-10 years to try to keep cancer from coming back. These drugs can have bad side effects like bone and joint pain, mood swings, and fatigue. Often doctors prescribe other pills — like antidepressants and pain meds — to fight those side effects.

How many men get breast cancer each year?

More than 2,500 men are diagnosed with breast cancer each year in the U.S. If it’s a guy you know, don’t question why they have a “woman’s disease” or insist it must be the wrong diagnosis. Men with breast cancer may need even more support because they feel out of place.

What to do when recovering from surgery?

People going through treatment or recovering from surgery have a limited amount of energy and need to spend it wisely. Sometimes, they have to turn down an invitation or cancel plans. They’re not trying to ditch you — their body probably needs a reboot. Take a raincheck for a day when they’re feeling more rested.

What to do when your friend is up for lunch?

If your friend is up for getting lunch or meeting for coffee, the last thing they probably want to do is talk about cancer. After all, they’re more than their disease. Try to keep the conversation focused on everyday things — their kids, a recent vacation, or a TV show you both like. If they want to talk about cancer, they’ll bring it up.

Is there any cure for cancer?

Treatment is over, and there are no signs of cancer. That’s great news, but some people still may have some mental healing to do. Your loved one may show signs of post-traumatic stress disorder, like not sleeping well or having crying fits. They may constantly check for lumps and bumps. Instead of telling them to “get back to normal,” urge them to talk to their doctor. Medications, therapy, and other treatments can help.

When talking with your friend, should the conversation revolve around their needs and feelings?

When speaking with your friend, the conversation should revolve around their needs and feelings, but that doesn’t mean you’re not hurting.

What is the best thing to do when you feel pressured to say something?

It’s common to feel pressure to find the right words to say, but sometimes the best thing is to let your friend do the talking .

What to do if someone turns down your offer?

If the person turns down your offer, Muradian says to remind your friend you’re here if they need you.

Does breast cancer progress?

Though medical advances have lowered the death rates for breast cancer, the hard truth is no one knows how the disease will progress for your friend.

Is it ill-meaning to give advice if you have breast cancer?

Unsolicited advice, even if you’ve had breast cancer, is often well-meaning but ill-received.

Is it fun to talk about breast cancer?

Talking about a breast cancer diagnosis isn’t fun.

Is there a one size fits all approach to breast cancer?

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people may find certain words comforting, while others may be offended. Your friend may want your advice if you’ve gone through breast cancer yourself, such as a recommendation for a doctor or a certain treatment plan. But they may not.

What to do if you have breast cancer?

If a friend or family member has been diagnosed with breast cancer, there are a number of things you can do to help or support them. 1. Practical support. 2. Emotional support. 3. Support for you. Our information for partners also has tips on talking to, listening to and supporting someone with breast cancer. 1.

What are the emotions of being shocked by breast cancer?

2. Emotional support. Most people are shocked to hear they have breast cancer and experience many different emotions including anger, fear, sadness and depression.

How to show your support to a friend?

If it’s appropriate, holding hands or giving them a hug is a useful way of showing your support.

Nine Tips for Talking to Someone Dealing with Breast Cancer

It can be difficult to know what to say when someone you know is going through breast cancer. Here are some tips to help you show support for a friend or loved one who has been recently diagnosed with breast cancer.

About the Creative Expression Series for Breast Cancer Survivors at Westmed

At Westmed, the Creative Expression Workshop Series for Breast Cancer Survivors provides a supportive environment where participants can discuss the ways breast cancer affects a woman’s emotional landscape, physical appearance and sense of femininity.

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What to say to someone with cancer?

If you’re struggling to find the right words, here are 12 kind things to say to someone with cancer: “I’m here for you.”. “You are in my thoughts and prayers.”. “This stinks.”. “Let me help you with…”. Tell a joke. “You are not alone.”. “Any time you need to talk, I’ll listen.”. “What day works for a visit?”.

How can listening help someone with cancer?

Having someone there to just listen can be enormously helpful for someone with cancer. They’re experiencing a lot of emotions, and you can provide an outlet for whatever they want to talk about.

How to show support to a friend?

During this difficult time, it’s crucial to show your support by planning regular visits. This will give your friend or family member a sense of community and help them feel like things are more normal. For example, the CaringBridge Planner helps you coordinate care and organize needs like bringing meals, rides to doctor appointments or taking care of pets.

How to show up for a visit?

Visit your loved one whether they’re at home or in the hospital. Showing up can also be as simple as sending a text or a call. Sometimes it is the small gestures that matter the most.

How to help someone who is unknown?

While they enter a new hurdle of their life, you can help by creating some familiarity for them during a period of unknown.

How to make someone feel positive?

A little motivation goes a long way. Pump your loved one up. Make them feel powerful. Whatever words you choose to convey this, they may appreciate the positivity despite a negative situation.

What to say instead of asking your loved one how you can help?

This is one of the most helpful things you can say. Instead of asking your loved one how you can help, tell them specifically what you’re able to help with. Treatment, doctor’s appointments and physical symptoms make it difficult to keep up with day-to-day life.

How to show support for someone with cancer?

However, staying in touch is always better than staying away. Here are some tips to help you show your support: Take your cues from the person with cancer. Ask the person with cancer if they would like to talk about the experience. It is best to allow him or her to decide when to talk and how much to share.

How to deal with cancer diagnosis?

Unsolicited advice may cause unnecessary stress. Be honest about your feelings but do not overburden. Communicate feelings you may be experiencing—such as fear, anxiety, anger, or disbelief — in response to the person’s cancer diagnosis. But try to be brief in your explanations.

What to do before offering advice?

Before you offer any advice, ask if it is okay and be prepared to stop if you are not encouraged to continue. If you feel prompted to make a suggestion, ask for the person’s permission to share it before proceeding. Unsolicited advice may cause unnecessary stress. Be honest about your feelings but do not overburden.

What does it feel like to have cancer?

Feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and helplessness come with a cancer diagnosis. For the person who has been diagnosed with cancer, it is helpful when friends and family members provide a comforting presence and practical support. It is often difficult for others to know what to say or start a conversation with someone who has cancer.

How to show respect to a person?

Practice active listening. This is a technique that professionals use to show respect. It is a helpful way for you to show that you are connecting to the person’s words and feelings. To be an active listener give your full attention, avoid thinking about what to say next, or hurrying the conversation and forcing it to a conclusion.

How to help someone with cancer?

Offer specific examples of ways you could help during cancer treatment. Ask if those suggestions sound helpful. Ideas include running errands, car ing for pets, driving the person to an appointment, or picking up children from school. This approach is better than saying, “Let me know if you need any help,” because some people have a hard time asking for help. If many friends and family members volunteer to help, you may offer to coordinate everyone’s efforts. Some online communities provide tools to help manage everyone’s involvement.

How to deal with cancer patients who are overwhelmed?

If you struggle to maintain your composure, give yourself some time away to calm your feelings before talking again. You may find that meeting with a counselor helps you process and manage your emotions.